Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
