so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
