Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
