i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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