you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you didnt know i had herpes?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
