Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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