there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
