Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
