It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
