I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
