i jhust puked up my retainher.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
