i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
