Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
