You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
