He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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