Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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