If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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