the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
