does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
