what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
