My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
NoShamevember. You game?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
