I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
