Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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