I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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