Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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