She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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