Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
That accounts for only three of the penises
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
