So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
