Sry I called you an 8
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
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