It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
