i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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