I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
