The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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