white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
