We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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