Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize