..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
