it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
