No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I AM VODKA MAN
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Randomize
