I'm lost and stupid without you.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
