it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
