a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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