she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
