Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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