More tranny stories later!
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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