ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
