she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
