hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
