I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
