You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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