Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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